Immobile

As most people who know me know, I like to run. Basically, I like to move. I didn't realize how much I actually move until I became immobile!

On Monday, I fell down the steps into the garage at our apartment building. Thankfully, it was only the last 3 steps. It was a rainy day and my arms were full of laundry I was taking to the laundromat to dry. Thankfully, I had all of that in my arms because it kept me from getting hurt worse.

On Monday, I learned more about the kindness of my neighbors. I am thankful for Mrs. U who came running down the steps as soon as she heard the crash and then contacted my friend, Mrs. S, because she didn't know my contact info. I am thankful for Mrs. S who immediately ran upstairs when I called, first hugged me and then asked me how I was doing. She dropped everything and took me directly to the doctor's office. I am thankful for Mrs. T and her daughter who live next door and brought me dinner last night, who are taking out my garbage for me. I am thankful for Mrs. K, from choir, who lives 3 minutes away and is a nurse, and who stops by each day on her way home from work. She also brings me food and magazines.

Actually, Mrs. T's daughter had the same experience in November on a different stairway. Also, she is studying physical therapy! One of her professors worked in the US for 12 years and is willing to look at my x-rays and then talk to me in English about what I should do.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the kindness.

Most people also know that I do not do well at asking for help. Well, that has had to change! I even have to ask someone to check my mail for me. It has been raining off and on all week. I am a bit nervous about going down the wet steps on crutches!

I have noticed this unwillingness to ask for help affects my relationship with God, too. As my unwillingness to ask God for help increases, my distance from Him increases, too. He has not moved, I have. I think I know how to do the ministry where He has placed me, so I just keep on going, doing what I've always done, in my own power. I am not surprised when I fall down. But it doesn't always cause me to change my ways. Why is it I always have to end up in a pile at the bottom of the steps in order to wake up and pay attention?

I am thankful for God's goodness and kindness, His patience and His love. As I think about my ankle healing, I realize it is going to take time. For some reason I think my heart should heal overnight. Maybe my heart takes time to heal just as my ankle does...